I promised Clare from Eat Stuff that I’d go ahead and attempt to eat
Vegemite. After her Vegemite-for-non-Aussies post, I’d pretty much committed myself to actually trying some Vegemite from this little bottle brought back by a friend from Australia. So I figured today, with the bright sunny sky shining and nice breezes would be as good a day as any to die…….
But someone had already tried some of the Vegemite. A few days ago I got a phone call from the Missus:
She: "I think there’s something wrong with the Vegemite"
Me: "Ummm, okay, what’s wrong?
She: "Well, I tasted some…."
Me: "You Tasted Some!"
She: "Yeah I tasted some, and it tastes like it’s rotten or spoiled or something!"
Me: "Can’t be, I’ve been told it lasts forever!"
She: "Nothing lasts forever…"
Me: "Maybe Vegemite does, it might be the perfect food."
pause….
She: "So you’ve never tasted this Vegemite stuff…."
Me: "No, I, um.."
She: "So it could be spoiled and you wouldn’t even know it!"
Me: "From what I understand, this stuff tastes so terrible, it really wouldn’t matter if it was spoiled or not!"
click….
On a follow-up phone call, a detailed description of the taste and texture of the Vegemite was passed on to me, to be kept forever in the "bowels" of my mind. In case you want a little history of Vegemite it can be found here.
So this morning I set out to make me some Vegemite toast. For some reason a song kept popping up in my head – "Goodbye Papa its hard to die….. ".
I decided to use wheat toast. I mean, Vegemite is "healthy", right? So I figured wheat toast is the way to go. I spread some butter on the toast, and got a little spoon of Vegemite. At first glance, Vegemite is black and tar-like, with a distinct yeasty smell. I moved the spoon toward Sammy who ran and hid in the bathroom. Not a good sign!
"When all the birds are singing in the sky…."
So I spread the Vegemite on the toast best I could:
I actually tried to make a "smiley face", which failed horribly, so my extreme lack of artistic talent is clearly visible to the entire world. See any apparition on the toast that could possibly make me some cash on Ebay? I then thought, "any black food that I like", "caviar", "yeah, that’s the ticket, caviar is black, caviaaarrrr…", "aaah, who am I kidding, this is about as far from caviar as I can get!"
So I took a bite, than another for good measure. The taste? Well after having my stomach pumped in the ER – just kidding Clare! It’s very salty, and a bit on the bitter-astringent side. I didn’t enjoy the after taste it left, but overall not a bad experience. Not something I’ll ever crave, but I’d eat it if I had to. Thanks Clare, this was fun. That Vegemite would just have continued being a paperweight at work, if not for your encouragement.
Another song just popped into my head:
We are happy little Vegemites as bright as bright can be,
We all enjoy our Vegemite for breakfast, lunch and tea,
Our mummy says we’re growing stronger every single week,
Because we love our Vegemite,
We all adore our Vegemite,
It puts a rose in every cheek!